Conscious Wish
by ManhattanWitch
Summary: Sequel to Heart's Desire. Read that first. More inside. Sorry it's soo late!


**Title**- Conscious Wish

**Summary**- Sequel to Heart's Desire. Harry found his Heart's Desire- now, will he be able to cope with the reality of it?

**Warnings**- Character death, blood, gore, cursing, manipulation

**Disclaimer**- J.K., while glorious in and of her self, would not write like this. We'd all die of happiness if she did, but she doesn't. That means that I'm not her. Need I say more?

**Author's Note**- Written from Midnight to 4:30. Be kind. Again, it is a Drarry, not HG/HP. This is the end- there is no more. Use that thing called imagination if you wish for another part.

… … …

It was Hermione, eventually, who got me to stop. I think Malfoy must have gone to go get her, knowing, as he must, that she would have an idea what to do with an insane Hero. Because, at that moment, I was. But what I remember is seeing her kneeling in front of me, face torn between relief and concern. If there was anyway I could have added more laughter to my peals, this would have warranted it.

But, of course Hermione would slap me and say, "Shut the fuck up and talk to me, Harry James Potter, or so help me…"

I knew that voice. That voice was the one that to this day made me shy away from sweets, give money to charities, study even when I don't want to. I shut up.

For a second. "It's him, Hermione. Malfoy. Of all the gods cursed, ill begotten jokes on mankind, this one rates up there, you know?"

She smacked me again, and my mouth slammed shut. She had a hand like a sledgehammer when she put her mind to it. She obviously had.

"You will keep your opinions to yourself until you have slept, eaten and showered, in that order." She narrowed her eyes at me, and I nodded.

"Good." Reaching out a hand, she helped me up, then turned to Malfoy and said, "I'll explain everything later- now that you've seen him, it should be easier." She turned to me and tugged gently, ignoring the blond man's confused look and half raised, outstretched hand. For a Medi Witch, she sure could be an evil bitch.

"Come on. Back to the Hospital Wing." I allowed her to tug me away, but I kept looking over my shoulder until the last moment. My Heart's Desire was _mine_, and I wanted to look my fill at the being that had, even unknowingly, caused me so much pain.

And the fact that looking at him filled some deep cavern inside me, a hole I'd never known about, that scared me. Because it would be very easy for me to become obsessed.

… … …

I woke up Christmas morning to the smell of coffee and the delightful event of having had no dreams. Period. At all. It was wonderful.

Then I opened my eyes, and my euphoric smile evaporated. Malfoy was sitting in Hermione's chair, croissant and coffee cup on a tray next to him, and another tray filled to the brim with goodies. I winced when my stomach growled.

The blond gestured to the tray. "Go ahead- don't let me stop you. We have a lot to talk about today."

I growled. _Fucking Hermione and her fucking big mouth, _I thought. But I was secretly glad that she had explained it all to him. That way we just had to, to… _What the fuck are we going to do?! _How the hell was I supposed to explain to Malfoy that I didn't think I could live without seeing him everyday?

Because even then, as I ate, I watched him out of the corner of my eye, taking in those long strands of silk masquerading as hair, the pale skin, the silver eyes. His poise, the grace with which he moved, everything was screaming at me to notice it. And while I was happy to oblige myself, I knew I needed to sit back and think about my reaction to him later.

For now, though, I had finished eating, and for better or worse, it was time To Talk.

"How much do you know?" I asked cautiously. Better safe than sorry.

"Up until Granger figured out what you had been cursed with- I will admit, I spent last night reading up on it."

Okay, that wasn't so bad.

"However, I'd like you to explain your reaction to finding out that I," pause, swallow a sip of coffee, "am your Heart's Desire." _How had he said that without stumbling over the words? _I wondered. But I needed to answer his question.

"It wasn't meant the way it probably sounded." The twitch of an eyebrow invited me to go on and I did. "It's just, you were there when she cursed me- if I had seen you then, I could have kept my sanity for these past two weeks instead of raving like a nutter."

I rubbed a hand over my face, enjoying the scratch of my two day's growth of whiskers on my palm. "And if The Traitor hadn't locked me up, we'd have been at the same functions and folderol all month."

I looked up pleadingly. "I wasn't pissed at you being my…um, well, but at the universe for so completely almost screwing me."

Malfoy's expression didn't change, but I could play this game, too, and besides- I wanted to hear what he had to say. So I waited, and finally he stopped nursing his cup and set it down.

"You do realize that when a Heart's Desire is in the form of a person, your heart will only desire that _singular _one?"

I nodded. "Yes, I had, can we…" I stopped talking when I understood what he'd meant. "Wait, wait, wait- you mean, desire, as in, uh…" I waved my hand rather inelegantly between us, and blushed.

Fortunately, he took pity on me and nodded.

"No. I hadn't. Hermione failed to mention that bit to me."

"It is because the event of it is rather unlikely, Potter, and you know it." His sharp tone took me by surprise, and something that I'd wondered about over the course of the past month suddenly occurred to me.

"You're the one who sniggered at the sex joke I made about Voldemort, aren't you?" I asked in a kind of awe.

He started, the non sequitor making him pause, before he nodded, flushing a bit. "Yes, well, given the…_unusual_ circumstances, I couldn't hold it in."

There wasn't much I could say to that. We sat in silence for a few more minutes, until Malfoy stood with a sigh. "If you ever want to talk to me, Granger can give you my information." He threw his coat on and walked to the door, pausing before he opened it. "Snape is doing quite well in the polls- you should be out in no time at all."

I think I heard a soft 'Merry Christmas' before the door closed. I'm not sure though. It could have been the wind.

… … …

The snow was still covering the grounds- rather thicker than before. But it didn't keep visions of dead comrades from my mind. Hermione had finally broken and told me the names of those who had died in the Final Battle. Ron, Seamus, Parvati and Patil, Daphne Greengrass, Susan Bones, Amelia Bones, Professor Flitwick, Cormac McGregor, the list went on and on.

And I'd known all of them; had trained with and taught them. I had lead some of them into battle, had lead less out. And each one of their death's was like a gouge on my heart.

Someone sighed from behind me. I shrugged as Hermione's hand came to rest on my shoulder. She just squeezed and ignored the hint for her to go away.

"Harry," she began, but I cut her off.

"I know what you're going to say," I said tonelessly. "That it wasn't my fault, that I shouldn't beat myself up about it. But Hermione," I said, finally looking into her eyes, "it feels like my fault."

"I know, Harry. I'm a Medi Witch, remember? Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I lose a patient and I haven't a clue why. But you can't beat yourself up, because it'll destroy you. Instead, you learn, and go on, and you do your best. You can't be faulted for that."

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right- like always." I added, and got the grin I was angling for.

"Precisely. Now, since you've been so out of the loop, and have been pining for a chance to see Malfoy," I flushed, "maybe we should see who won Minister?"

Amused, I asked, "How? Have you got a telly, then?"

"Did one better- look." She waved her wand through the air in a complicated motion, and when it finished, a swirling silver plate was hanging in the air.

"When they go to announce the winner, this will light up so we can see."

I nodded, and not five seconds later the silver turned opaque, then showed a startlingly clear view of the balcony where the votes were being taken.

On one side was Rufus, on the other was Snape. But I wasn't watching them- I was watching the white head of hair that was making it's way slowly behind The Traitor.

"What's Malfoy doing?" I asked curiously.

"One of these days you are going to learn how to say his first name. Snape's first order of business will be to arrest him for unlawfully detaining a private citizen, denying medical assistance to a veteran of the war, and the illegal takeover of a contract between said private citizen and the executor of their will."

"So smug, Hermione." I murmured, eyes fixed to that shining white hair. "But how do that have anything to do with Malfoy?"

She jumped on the window seat next to me and conjured a bowl of popcorn, a luxury none of our pureblood friends understood. "Snape's made him head of internal security, and he's on the fast track to Head Auror."

I frowned at her. "Don't you have to be an Auror already to become the Head?" I asked in confusion.

Hermione sniggered gleefully. "Apparently, there's a rule that says all undercover agents must be members of the Auror Department, to keep them inline and accountable. Technically, Malfoy's been an Auror for six years."

"Bet the Traitor never considered that."

She went to reply, but _shushed_ herself. "They're starting!"

We both turned our attention back to the telly, avidly awaiting the final call. In the magical world, votes were tallied as they came in, and once they were all in, the results would be announced. Snape was looking unruffled, as usual, but the Traitor was sweating- even from here we could see it clearly.

I grunted out "Finally," as the portentous old chicken of an adjudicator made his slow way to the stage. He took his time getting settled, making the crowd, and the two of us, grumble.

When he finally looked up, everyone went still. He cast a _sonorous_ and cleared his throat, then read off his card, "In this, the one hundred and twenty second election of the English Wizarding Isles, the winner of this race is Severus Snape, Potions Master and Veteran of the Final Battle."

The cheer that went up was deafening. Hermione grabbed me in a hug, squealing, "Oh, Harry! You can leave now!"

I hugged her back, but the sound of Snape's voice called our attention. "Handy that- most of us have been his students- we hear his voice and our first instinct is to stop and listen."

Hermione just grinned, too happy to tell me off for insulting, even indirectly, a former teacher.

"-for the honor of granting me the opportunity to prove myself to you." It looked like a roaring cheer might drown him out, but a raised eyebrow nipped it in the bud. I sniggered.

"My first order of business as the Minister of Magic is unfortunate, given the circumstances, but must be addressed." Everybody in the crowd seemed to hold their breath- a scandal, already?

"It came to my attention during the course of this race that a grievous crime had been committed." he paused and looked at the crowd, face deadly serious. "One of the warriors of the Final Battle has been suffering under the effects of a curse for the past month. He has been consistently denied the services of his Medi Witch, been held under house arrest, and the Contract of Responsibility binding him and his Medi Witch was illegally severed."

An angry murmur broke out from the crowd. Anyone who had fought in the war had had a Contract, in case of injury or death. To sever one was the highest crime any of them could think of. My smile was vicious, Hermione's blood thirsty.

Snape continued. "As of five minutes ago, when my term began, their Contract was reinstated-" he was cut off by the glee of the crowd. They might not know who he was talking about, but it didn't really matter. Almost everyone had fought in the war, and most of them were in the stadium. I handed Hermione a tissue to wipe her tears, and got a watery grin in thanks.

"_It was reinstated_," he repeated, and the crowd quieted at his tone. "And Aurors have been sent to find and relocate them. Now, to address who committed such a crime," the mass of people growled, and Snape let them. "I have my Head of Security arresting him right now."

My grin was feral as I watched Malfoy lean forward and say something in The Traitor's ear. He started, then tried to get away, but the blond man had him in restraints, and had handed him off to Shacklebolt and Tonks. The partners led him away, ears deaf to his pleas.

I shook my head in disbelief. "He had to have known Snape was going to do something like this." I said to Hermione. "Why didn't he get away when he had a chance?"

"You mix your metaphors sometimes, Harry, but you have a good one for him- he's not the sharpest crayon in the box."

I squeezed her to my side, happy and slightly overwhelmed. I was free, free to leave the castle, to be sane, to try and woo Malfoy. I shook my head at that thought, then turned to Hermione.

"Now that this whole fiasco is over, I need to talk to you about something." She nodded and banished the 'telly', and I went on. "I don't understand how this how 'Hearts' Desire' thing works."

I shifted. "I mean, not that I'm complaining, but how is Malfoy what I want the most?" I asked. It had been bugging me for days, this question, and I needed an answer before I had to face the world.

Hermione sighed, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I don't think it's that he's what you want the most, Harry- it think it's that he fulfills your need to the fullest."

My face was blank with confusion, I'm sure, because she huffed. "Look at it this way- you've known him for seven years of school and seven years of war. Why would he suddenly become the thing you want the most?" She shifted and turned to face me, my arm slipping off her shoulders.

"I think that what you want, what you desire with your whole heart, is someone who will love you, unconditionally, because of who you are, not what you represent. I think you want someone who can understand what you've gone through, can know exactly why you did the things you did because they had to make the same choices, had to know that sometimes, there is no right answer."

It was harder than I had thought, hearing my deepest longings told to my face. But she as right- that was what I wanted, that was what I needed, _had_ needed since I entered the Wizarding World. "And Malfoy?" I asked, because I hadn't delved deep enough yet- I wasn't scraping rock bottom. I needed to _know_.

"He's your opposite." she said softly. "Your foil that knows exactly what you're going through. _He _had a crappy childhood, _he _had unrealistic expectations on his shoulders, _he _had the weight of a world on his shoulders. And," she said, sudden levity in her voice, "you want him for more than that. Merlin, Harry!" She exclaimed, "you stalked the poor boy for all of sixth year!"

I ducked my head as I blushed, wondering just how the _hell_ she'd known about that. And why I was doing it.

She grabbed my face and forced me to look into her eyes. Those warm brown eyes of hers pierced straight through to my soul, and her words took anchor there. "The world is not going to end because you finally admit to yourself what you've felt for nine _years_, Harry."

I couldn't look away as I muttered, blush reaching for the tips of my ears, "More."

"More what?" she asked as she released my head.

"More like _twelve _years, 'Mione."

The shock on her face was worth the embarrassment of saying that out loud. But Hermione never stayed shocked for long- her brow furrowed and she said, "Since third year?" I nodded. "Oh, you poor baby." She launched herself at me and I caught her, laughing as we fell off the seat.

She gave me a great big squeeze, then released me. "Oh, the ammo," she sang as she stood.

"Ammo? What ammo? What are you talking about?" I asked from the floor.

She struck a pose. "As best friend, this gives me blackmail for life." She started counting on one hand. "I could get you to be nice to all those charity people, I could make you smile for camera's instead of cursing them, I could- ahh!" she shrieked. I'd tackled her to shut her up, and now had her in a bear hug.

"No blackmail, or I'll bring out the secret weapon- I'll tickle you." I warned as she looked at me with big eyes. Now they narrowed.

"Don't you dare, Harry. It is so unbecoming-"

She was cut off as I started to run my fingers up and down her ribcage, the whole 'unbecoming' bit having been my last straw. She laughed and giggled, twisting and writhing until I had to let her go or trip.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, until I smiled and said, "I'm _free,_ Hermione."

She smiled back. "I know."

… … …

But nothing happened all that quickly- the Aurors still had to get past the wards on the Castle, and helped though they were by Hogwarts they still had a tough time of it.

I found out via Hermione that the reason Malfoy had found me that night, and the day after, was because the wards they were trying to get rid of had to be lowered to let the ball take place. It would have been very suspicious of Rufus to leave them up at a historic old building when a ball full of war hero's was in full swing.

I placed a hand on the wall next to me as growl escaped my throat. I might have loved the castle, but even as a student I had been able to move from wing to wing. I had been stuck in the Hospital Wing, with the exception of Christmas night, for six weeks. Enough was enough.

Hogwarts shuddered, and the Aurors all exclaimed as the barriers they had been working at for days fell. The castle had channeled my anger and my magic through herself, and had shaken the wards off like silk. I was thankful Hermione wasn't there- I did not want to explain my connection to Hogwarts to anyone, thank you very much.

I waited for them to find me, thinking as I sat in the window seat. Hermione's words had stayed with me, growing in the back of my mind in the days since the conversation. It had taken a while for me to fully accept them, to allow myself to release the hold I'd had on emotions I couldn't name.

Maybe Heart's Desire could be shaped by a conscious wish, if the wish was old enough and strong enough. Or could it be that the desire shaped the wish, to give you an insight into your soul? It didn't matter, in the end.

What mattered was that for the first time in years, my heart and my mind were on the same track. I knew what I needed, and my need knew he was wanted. I could live with that, could build on that foundation.

The door to the Wing opened, and my heart soared at the sight of the first person through. He scanned the room, and when he found me, I stood. Aurors fanned out behind their boss, but my eyes stayed on his. _Those eyes_, I thought. In his eyes I could read things no one else ever saw.

And he could read mine just as easily, see just as many hidden things. Or not so hidden. Those silver eyes widened as they read my heart in mine, read what was out there for the world to see. Read about the years I had pined for him, had hated and loved him with equal passion. Read me down to the bottom of my soul, and saw that twelve years wasn't long enough for me, that I wanted as many as he would give.

And in his eyes, I saw acceptance.

… … …

_Here it is. I hope you love it as much as I do._

_MannyWitch_

_Ps- I just have to let you know- the way Malfoy got Hermione to follow him in the beginning of this to Harry was by walking up to her and saying, "Granger, I've found your Hero. He's lost his last marble on the fifth floor."_

_That was one of the first scene's in my head when I thought of this story, but the way I wrote it, I couldn't stick it in._

_Now that's all._

_Bye!_

_Ps- Vanessa, I'm _sorry_!!!!_


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